It's been over a year since I wrote on my blog. It's a promise I quickly broke with myself. I'm forcing that to end.
Expecting some rust, I've decided this post will just be all over the place. Perhaps by approaching it in such an unstructured manner, I will find structure.
Last year was involved in the deliverables for Videotape, and we only finished with that at the beginning of this year. Roughly three weeks ago. Feels like longer. So this ten year adventure has come to an end of sorts. Kevin and I are not the only ones responsible for it, and that feeling alone is powerful. Of course, it's also mixed in with the feeling that an enormous void has entered my life.
Over the years, I've spoken with other filmmakers about the process of making films and how it affects them psychologically. Many of them told me not to dwell on one picture for too long. They had different reasons, but it didn't matter. I went against their advice, convinced that Videotape would be a key cornerstone in my career as a storyteller. It ended up being that, but in almost none of the ways I expected. But enough about that for now.
I have checked myself into a sort of rehab mode over the last month. I've made a point of working out more, eating meals earlier in the day, getting to bed at a quasi-decent hour, and finding time in my day to actually relax. It's ironic how difficult that really is. I've been noting that my friends and family have changed a lot more than I realized. I'm partially convinced I kept them in a certain place in time for the last decade. Crazy how the brain works. In many ways, I'm looking at them in a new light, which is definitely not a bad thing.
One of the things I've been doing is revisit old films I used to love, and test myself with a wide range of new ones. I've been slightly obsessing over the Hindi film "Hum Aapke Hain Koun!". Made in the mid-90s, it's a melodramatic, three-hour-plus musical from Rajshri Pictures. An epic musical of two families coming together in marriage. When working on Videotape, Kevin and I would break to get food at a local Indian buffet. On the television were shows and films from India. I was always captivated by the melodramatic components of these stories. The fascination only grew with this film. The chemistry between its stars, Salman Khan and Madhuri Dixit, is absolutely spot on. The supporting cast is well-stocked. Not often a fan of musicals, I found myself singing in the shower with the soundtrack. It's been an interesting medicine for me.
Creatively, I have not attempted any new materials for at least a year and half. I had not noticed this until just a couple of weeks ago. Again, I was consumed to the point of total denial in terms of writing, creating, and producing. That has been my medicine for so long. I cut myself of it for far too long.
So I've made a point to write every evening. My mind never shuts off, and I believe I've been driving myself a bit crazy over the last year because I haven't vented my thoughts, stresses, and questions to a hard drive. You'd think I would notice that urge immediately. Go figure.
Currently working on three scripts. All short. All of them dealing with children playing in backyards. I didn't plan it that way, but for some reason it keeps popping up. Don't question the subconscious. I've also incorporated monologues exclusively. No other conversations with characters. Again, don't know why.
I've been having a fascination with incorporating classical music, particularly Strauss and Wagner, into my next project. Music has been important for me for some time, and I was unable to use certain pieces of music with Videotape. You could definitely call that the limitations of working with a micro-budget. That's definitely something I wish to further explore.
I'm looking at the time, and know I will regret staying up any longer. I'm glad to be back at writing at this blog again. I'll make a point to keep doing this.